From Self-Doubt to Send: My Projecting Journey on The Hatchling

A few years ago, I went on a bouldering trip to Rocklands in South Africa, one of the most iconic outdoor climbing destinations. My goal for the trip was to climb The Hatchling, a beautiful but challenging 8a boulder problem. The boulder stood out to me two years earlier on a previous trip, and I knew it would be a significant challenge – it was my first attempt at this grade.

Climbing The Hatchling wasn’t just a physical challenge. It was absolutely mentally demanding. The boulder was far from other climbs, and no one in my group was interested in trying it. Convincing my friends to trek out to a remote spot wasn’t easy. I often felt guilty for asking them to wait while I worked on my project. This added pressure to perform quickly, which, as many of you might know, can mess with your head.

To manage this, I made sure we balanced our sessions by spending time on their projects as well. This small gesture created a sense of fairness that helped me relax and focus when it was my turn to climb – but I’d be lying if I said it was easy.

When I finally started projecting The Hatchling, I relied heavily on mental strategies to help me push through the challenges.

When we returned for a second session, I felt like I’d already been there countless times, even though it was only my second attempt. These mental techniques made every session feel productive and gave me a sense of progress.

Of course, the journey wasn’t all smooth – and even with these mental tools, they weren’t always enough to guarantee success (obviously!). After countless sessions, I still hadn’t sent the boulder. With the trip slowly coming to an end, my confidence started to crumble. Negative self-talk took over, whispering that I’d wasted all this time and energy for nothing. The fear of leaving without the send loomed large.

Adding to the weight of it all were feelings of guilt and shame. I’d convinced my friends to come to this remote boulder time and time again, pulling them away from their own projects. What if I didn’t even send? The thought of letting them down – or worse, having dragged them out there for nothing – was eating away at me.

And then came the final day – a day I’ll never forget. I was battling food poisoning, my stomach twisting in knots (partly from the bad food I’d eaten, but likely also from the mounting pressure), and just as I reached the boulder, an unexpected crowd arrived—15 climbers, all eager to take their shot at The Hatchling. The pressure was suffocating. Each failed attempt only made the holds greasier and the stress more overwhelming. It felt like everything was stacked against me. I was close to tears.

The stress of having people watch me climb and knowing the holds would become slippery with repeated use almost made me give up. I started making excuses: “I’m too tired,” “The conditions aren’t right,” “My stomach hurts.”

But then, a friend reminded me to focus. “You’re so close. You know what to do—trust yourself. Concentrate on your climb, not everything else,” they said. I’m not sure what it was about that comment, but it snapped me out of my negative mindset. I took a moment to regroup, revisiting my mental strategies: visualization, self-talk, and controlled breathing.

When I reached the crux, I reminded myself to move slowly and deliberately. It felt like climbing in slow motion, and with that focus, I finally sent the boulder! You can only imagine, the feeling of relief and joy was unforgettable.

If you've ever projected yourself, you know that projecting is full of highs and lows. You feel so motivated and excited when you link hard moves, only to be crushed by repeated failures. Managing these emotions is important for staying consistent and focused, especially when success feels just out of reach.

Does that mean that as a psychologist, I always handle frustration, disappointment, or anger perfectly? Or that I always know exactly how to deal with them in the heat of the moment? Well, no! But what I’ve learned is that I’ve become better at it by acknowledging, accepting, and sometimes verbalizing these emotions. I’ve learned to use them as fuel for motivation, and to face them with curiosity. (That said, of course, they still feel uncomfortable—that’s just their nature, I guess…)

For me, strategies like positive self-talk, deep breathing, and visualization made a huge difference. They didn’t guarantee the send, but they helped me regain focus. They were especially helpful in the beginning, allowing me to make progress and refine my micro beta (which was crucial, as this project was truly at my limit).