Projecting with Confidence: Turning Comparison into Curiosity

When I witnessed the other climber campusing my project, I felt a weird mix of admiration and, let’s be honest, a sting of frustration. You may know the feeling: you’re sweating, trying to nail the moves, and suddenly a comp kid or a seasoned climber just flows up the route like it’s nothing.

That’s fine for me as long as they are clearly beyond my climbing capabilities. It’s inspiring to watch someone send with such grace and power. But when someone who’s not that different from me cruises up my project without breaking a sweat? Ouch. That’s when the feelings of jealousy and internal monologue kick in.

The truth is, comparison in climbing is natural but can quickly become toxic and take away our focus and joy in our own progress. But here’s the good news: there’s a way to turn that frustration into motivation.

I’d love to tell you that, as a sports psychologist, I just smile and think positive thoughts when someone sends my project easily. But the truth? It’s often more like: Why is it so easy for them? What’s wrong with me?

And when someone, who usually struggles with the boulders that I can climb, sends it effortlessly, it stirs up jealousy that I’d rather not admit to. There’s a part of me that wants to be above these feelings, but I’ve learned that instead of pretending they don’t exist, it’s better to just accept them and focus on what comes next.

What really helps in those moments is shifting my perspective. Instead of dwelling on why someone else is sending the boulder faster than me, I try to treat their success as a mini-lesson. When I see other climbers – especially those similar to me in ability or body type – cruising through my project, I use it as a chance to learn.

So, I start asking myself questions.

What can I take away from their approach?

How could I try that move differently?

I’ve started treating these sessions like free coaching sessions. Maybe it’s their foot placement, their balance, or how they position their hips that makes the difference. Sometimes it’s subtle – a small adjustment in their body angle or how they keep tension that lets them stick the crux. Watching closely, I find inspiration and techniques to try out on my next attempt.

There’s something incredibly freeing in switching from comparison to observation. I’m no longer climbing against them. I’m climbing with them, even if it’s only in my mind. And honestly, it’s amazing how much free beta you can pick up when you stop comparing and start observing. Suddenly, instead of feeling like I’m the underdog, I feel like I’m collecting secret strategies – ones that just might get me to the top, too.

Some days, it’s just hard to watch others send your project like it’s their Sunday stroll. Sure, when I’m feeling strong, I can admire their skill and take mental notes on their footwork or technique.

But some days, I’m feeling a bit more fragile or just plain tired – and that’s when my ego demands a little protection. That’s when I tell myself, “Well, of course, they did it easily… I mean, they’re practically half my age” or “Look at those long arms – if I had that wingspan, I’d be crushing too!” I do my best to keep those thoughts to myself because saying them out loud would take away from the genuine accomplishment of others.

This little mental padding doesn’t make me proud, but it gives me a momentary soft landing, a way to brush off the sting when admiration feels a bit out of reach. And honestly? Sometimes you need that! It’s like throwing yourself a small pity party with a “Hey, it’s okay, you’re just built differently!” sort of theme.

Even with all these little battles with my ego and comparisons, projecting is addictive for a reason. Nothing beats that feeling when something that once felt impossible starts to click. Each session I chip away, moving a tiny bit further, refining a technique, or figuring out a better sequence. Slowly, that line between “can’t” and “can” starts to blur, and that’s where the magic happens. There’s deep joy in realizing that what seemed impossible last week might actually be within reach.

So, if you’re in the middle of a project that feels tough, or you’re watching others sail up something you’re still figuring out, remember: this is your journey. Enjoy the process, focus on your progress, and stay curious. Besides, the satisfaction of sending a project that’s challenged you from the start? There’s just nothing like it.